Race Day Fan Gifts

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

'What hurt most was being beaten by a two-year old!'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

A day at the races

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

Bradley Wiggins

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

Centaur Sprinter

Pig Trotter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I believe you were first.'

"I want to report a race crime.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

Fast food

The Race

Dog Scalextric

The Tortoise and NASCAR.

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.