Race Day Fan T-Shirts

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'What hurt most was being beaten by a two-year old!'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

A day at the races

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Centaur Sprinter

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

Pig Trotter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I believe you were first.'

"I want to report a race crime.'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

Race Horses See Big People.

Dog Scalextric

The Race

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Fast food

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

Hurdles with Steps

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"