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Bradley Wiggins

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The polar olympics

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

Smile

First past the post.

'I win!'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

A tessellation of running figures.

Loser's Podium.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

Get a life

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

'Well, did you win or what?'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

'On your mark, get set...'

The Tortoise and NASCAR.

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

Fast food

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

Race Horses See Big People.

'I'd bet that with that race engine, you could beat anybody to the neighborhood grocery store.'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

Hurdles with Steps