Auto Racing Fan Gifts

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bob's Driving School.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'God's speed.'

Smile

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

Formula One car origami

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pig Trotter

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

"I want to report a race crime.'

'Think Basics.'

'I believe you were first.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

"He used to own a muscle car."

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

'Speed bump ... no sound barrier.'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

Pit Stop for Track and Field

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

Fast food

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

The Race

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.