Firewood Fan Gifts

'Hey, Mr. Harris, I've got your fresh fire wood here, where do you want it?'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

"Wow, Grog, fire and drawings. This is quite an entertainment center you have here."

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"Who wants to help me with the fireworks this year?"

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

Bath Bonfire

Fire Assembly Point

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."

"Before rising all the way to the executive suite, the fire had its modest start in the company mailroom."

Now that we can't afford heating oil our pension check is finally good for something.

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

July 5...payback.

"Mom forbids me to have fireworks. She gave me this cereal instead!"

"Is the light bothering you?"

'I was on my way to see why so many people were gathered in the park when the fireworks started...'

'You know, dad...a campfire is nature's TV, but with only one channel.'

Dog in front of fire, wearing slippers, reading paper, smoking pipe, with tea and bones. Owner says: 'Stay!'

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

"You're right. Watching them celebrate freedom before we abduct them is fun."

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

'Excuse me, could I borrow a light?'

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

"I'm retired now"

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

Smoking Firemen.