Fire Pit Fan Gifts

'You know, dad...a campfire is nature's TV, but with only one channel.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

"Love your ambiance!"

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

"Wow, Grog, fire and drawings. This is quite an entertainment center you have here."

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

Scarecrow jumps out of a birthday cake and then catches on fire.

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

"Who wants to help me with the fireworks this year?"

"I apologize, sir, but I'm having trouble finding a technician willing to come out and remove the insidious fire creature from your computer."

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Fire Assembly Point

"Before rising all the way to the executive suite, the fire had its modest start in the company mailroom."

Now that we can't afford heating oil our pension check is finally good for something.

Donald Trump

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."

Bath Bonfire

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

July 5...payback.

"Mom forbids me to have fireworks. She gave me this cereal instead!"

'I was on my way to see why so many people were gathered in the park when the fireworks started...'

'We've created fire! We're Gods!'

Dog in front of fire, wearing slippers, reading paper, smoking pipe, with tea and bones. Owner says: 'Stay!'

"You're right. Watching them celebrate freedom before we abduct them is fun."

'Hey, Mr. Harris, I've got your fresh fire wood here, where do you want it?'

'Excuse me, could I borrow a light?'

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

Smoking Firemen.

"Have you tried using one of these?"