Tool Tamer Pillows

"Most projects require three hands."

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Hair trigger

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Send away mower for servicing...get your scythe out of the shed.

New Swiss Army Knife

Scrapyard Worker

"Darling, size is not important!"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Multi-tasking.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Parenting Business Deals

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Dentist Training School.

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

'Storm'

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"