Tool Tamers Pillows

'Storm'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Multi-tasking.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Toys in the DVD Player.

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

New Swiss Army Knife

Timber preservation

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

"Most projects require three hands."

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

When a nanosecond is forever.

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him