Yard Tamers Pillows

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Toys in the DVD Player.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Timber preservation

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

New Swiss Army Knife

Parenting Business Deals

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Most projects require three hands."

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'Storm'

Babies

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

When a nanosecond is forever.

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

'Where's your goldfish?'