Yard Tamers Pillows

Garden Shop. Preseason sale! Mower for your money!

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Toys in the DVD Player.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

New Swiss Army Knife

Timber preservation

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

Parenting Business Deals

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

"Most projects require three hands."

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Babies

'Storm'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

When a nanosecond is forever.

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.