Tool Tamer Gifts

"Most projects require three hands."

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Hair trigger

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Send away mower for servicing...get your scythe out of the shed.

New Swiss Army Knife

Scrapyard Worker

"Darling, size is not important!"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Multi-tasking.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Not you. Your hair.

"Lovely dovetail."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Parenting Business Deals

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

Dentist Training School.

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

'Storm'

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'