Tongue-in-cheek Humorists Gifts

Roman Golfer.

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

"Why feel bad? We do actually need to eat, and they'll never even know there was a twin."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Shall I be mother?

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

The Three Doctors.

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

"No Bald Games"

Fart. Le Poot.

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

Burke and Hare and Hare

"It's a thongbird."

"Bitch."

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"The way I look at it, drinking alcohol may never solve anything. . . but neither did drinking milk!"

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'

Genelg, Kohok, & Sgoogs - Palindromes