Tongue-in-cheek Humorists T-Shirts

Roman Golfer.

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

Procrastinators Incorporated

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

"Why feel bad? We do actually need to eat, and they'll never even know there was a twin."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Shall I be mother?

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

The Three Doctors.

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

Burke and Hare and Hare

The Cheshire Dog.

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"No Bald Games"

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

Fart. Le Poot.

"It's a thongbird."

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

"Bitch."

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

As you know by now know, we received dozens of replies to our request for suggestions to rename Rudy Park's generation. Today, we announce the third-place runners-up. That selection goes to a handful of readers who deemed Rudy's peer group Generation E for entitlement or entitled. Thoughts? I thought he E referred to easy to saddle with the deficit, you cheapskate curmudgeons! What do you think of that?! Solid retort. But we though enough to give it third place. Tomorrow: Our runners-up are anno

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'

Avian Grammar. Left Tern. Right Tern. Tern for the Worse.