Tomato Humorist Gifts

'Don't feel bad if you faint, it's quite normal when there's a lot of ketchup.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Flight simulator'

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Conference Pears

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

That fateful day when curiosity actually DID kill the cat.

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'This is my wife Hilda, who is quite a tomato herself!'

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

'Now that we can walk upright, we have to be especially careful about banana peels.'

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

Sale - Eyepod.

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

Two men stand back to back as the sun rises; one man holds a basket labeled "Tomato" while the other holds a basket labeled "To-mah-to".

Banana Ballet

Mrs. Fergensun unfortunately was crushed before getting what would surely have been a prize winning tomato to the county fair.

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe