Banana Humorist Gifts

"You can try make-up, but you're a banana...age spots are inevitable."

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

That fateful day when curiosity actually DID kill the cat.

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

Banana Ballet

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Conference Pears

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I didn't know which one to cross."

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'Now that we can walk upright, we have to be especially careful about banana peels.'

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

'Personal foul. On the defense. Plucking the passer.'

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

An Artichoke choking on some food

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Bathing Flowers.

"We went bowling last night and well, yeah."

"How's the self defense classes going?"

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.