Fruit Comedian Gifts

Pears figure skating

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Just be yourself."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Apples for sale

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Apple Pie Abduction

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Plum jam...

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

End of Year Figs.

Conference Pears

"No. You turn over."

Apricots

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Lovers dressed as pears

"We have a favor to ask."

"Well, then - two apples a day."

"I like friut flies!"

'I don't care if you're wearing them again tomorrow, just put your clothes away!'

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

Oh you smoothie