Potato Humor Aficionado Gifts

Sale - Eyepod.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Lockdown casserole

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Stupid Microwave

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

Murderous Chef

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

The Hypnotato,

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

Mash-test Dummies.

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'