Potato Aficionados Gifts

Wanted - for cow rustling, gun fighting and high levels of starchiness.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

The Velvet Mesquite

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

'YAY! PATE!'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

The Hypnotato,

Spud dating.

Beware of Watchdog

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Mash-test Dummies.