Potato Aficionado Gifts

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'Do I want FRIES with that You tryin' to be funny, bub'

"...and our cremation options include french fried, baked, roasted and hash browned."

'Darn forest fires!'

"To be honest Henry, I think I preferred your early brutalist potato period."

The Maris Pipers

"Honey, the tuber driver is here!"

Potato Famine (somebody didn't make enough mashed potatoes)

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

Potatoes are recorded as first being domesticated at about 8000-7000 B.C., in Peru. Before this time, potatoes had a reputation of being savage and unpredictable tubers...

An unfortunate potato becomes lunch,

'Excuse me son, but does your potato have a license?'

Mr. Tater Tot

-Why are you ploughing with a steam roller? -I'm growing mashed potatoes.

A gravy boat navigating the hazardous Mashed Potato Passage.

"Why are you plowing with a steam roller?"

Thrice Baked Potatoes

Kim Jong Un returns triumphant from his meeting with Putin - holds aloft a single potato.

"If he wants it, let him have it."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

Stupid Microwave

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'