Tomato Aficionado Gifts

"You were overheard saying you'd kill for a good tomato."

"Oh, Kevin. You are truly the Tomato Whisperer."

"This is your third cousin Hermina. She was a bad gardener, but she always had the best tomatoes!"

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

"Oh, Kevin. You are truly the Tomato Whisperer."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Advocado

'Have you no common scents?!'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

Sermon on the Grounds...

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

Dreaming Of Spring

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

I think we may have genetically overmodified the tomatoes.

"I don’t care if you are a noodle. I love you."

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

"At ease!"

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

A Taco Tuesday Tragedy

'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"