Potato Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm going to put you on a low carb diet,'

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'Do I want FRIES with that You tryin' to be funny, bub'

"...and our cremation options include french fried, baked, roasted and hash browned."

'Darn forest fires!'

"To be honest Henry, I think I preferred your early brutalist potato period."

The Maris Pipers

"Honey, the tuber driver is here!"

Potato Famine (somebody didn't make enough mashed potatoes)

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

Potatoes are recorded as first being domesticated at about 8000-7000 B.C., in Peru. Before this time, potatoes had a reputation of being savage and unpredictable tubers...

An unfortunate potato becomes lunch,

'Excuse me son, but does your potato have a license?'

Mr. Tater Tot

-Why are you ploughing with a steam roller? -I'm growing mashed potatoes.

A gravy boat navigating the hazardous Mashed Potato Passage.

"Why are you plowing with a steam roller?"

Thrice Baked Potatoes

Kim Jong Un returns triumphant from his meeting with Putin - holds aloft a single potato.

"If he wants it, let him have it."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Stupid Microwave

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"