Potato Pun Enthusiast T-Shirts

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Stupid Microwave

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Couch Potatoes

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

The Hypnotato,

Spud dating.

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Mash-test Dummies.

Mr. Tater Tot

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'

Kim Jong Un returns triumphant from his meeting with Putin - holds aloft a single potato.

Spudhenge

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

Potato Famine (somebody didn't make enough mashed potatoes)