Potato Aficionados Pillows

Wanted - for cow rustling, gun fighting and high levels of starchiness.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

The Velvet Mesquite

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

'YAY! PATE!'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

Beware of Watchdog

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

The Hypnotato,

Spud dating.

Sale - Eyepod.