Potato Enthusiasts Pillows

"Honey, have you seen my keys... and my nose?"

'Well I thought he was charming, until he told me that the first thing he ever noticed about me was my eyes. It made me feel so ugly!'

'You know it's true what they say, Larry: Hell hath no fury like a potato scorned.'

'I know it's not snowing, that's why I need lots of mashed potatoes to build a snow man!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Unconditional Loveseat

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."