Potato Enthusiasts Pillows

"Honey, have you seen my keys... and my nose?"

'Well I thought he was charming, until he told me that the first thing he ever noticed about me was my eyes. It made me feel so ugly!'

'You know it's true what they say, Larry: Hell hath no fury like a potato scorned.'

'I know it's not snowing, that's why I need lots of mashed potatoes to build a snow man!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Unconditional Loveseat

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Stupid Microwave

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

Couch Potatoes

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

Mash-Test Dummies.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.