Toilet Ponderer Gifts

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"This stool shall pass."

Beginning Yarder.

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"That's an everblue."

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

Progress?

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

'It must cost a small fortune to dry clean that suit.'

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

'It seems like a good invention now, but someday there'll be millions of these things, all crashing into each other.'

CREEPY AF AI

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Where history's best ideas happen.

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

Fruits and vegetables

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

Enter Exit - Circle of Life.

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

How come I always get stuck in the weird extra pocket?

What Is This Crap?

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

'If you don't count your birthday...why should I remember it?'

Pizza Palazzo. Relax - It's only the post office that's thinking of stopping Saturday delivery!