Plastic Ponderer Gifts

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Is plastic okay? -- Even though it comes from oil?'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Idle parts

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

Fruits and vegetables

"I want my job back."

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

Nigel finds the Higgs boson.

"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.

'I'm dubious. Neutrinos may be bigger than we thought, but they're not that big.'

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"I told you not to have that boob job."

The food was nice...but something was missing.