Paper Ponderer Gifts

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Doo inc..can and no can.

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"Crap in" and "crap out"

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'It's an EIEIO!'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

In, out, and back in again trays

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'