Plastic Ponderer Pillows

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Mom, it's doing it again'

'Is plastic okay? -- Even though it comes from oil?'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"That's an everblue."

Idle parts

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

'Nuff said.

"I want my job back."

Fruits and vegetables

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'I'm dubious. Neutrinos may be bigger than we thought, but they're not that big.'

Nigel finds the Higgs boson.

"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.