Plastic Surgery Ponderer Pillows

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

'This nip and tuck business - can I have the tuck without the nip?'

'Let's go to a plastic surgeon.'

Suddenly, Maude regretted getting the botox injections.

'Vinyl siding was cheaper than cosmetic surgery.'

Fred was mortified to discover his web cam was broadcasting to his new boss while he was seeing what he might look like after plastic surgery.

Man begs near sign: 'Wife needs another face-lift please help'.

"I told you not to have that boob job."

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"What have you done? I came in to have my wrinkles removed, instead you given me big breasts!"

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

Waiting for Pants

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Idle parts

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Robot Attack in Bath

"Well I think the Real question is..."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

"They're some kind of robot, perhaps artificially intelligent."