Medical Procedure Ponderers Pillows

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Waiting for Pants

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Woah - random!"

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

Mountains and Molehills

'You're wrong - this is brain surgery!'

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

"What have you done? I came in to have my wrinkles removed, instead you given me big breasts!"

"Let's face it, you could back the wrong horse in a one-horse race!"

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

"I told you not to have that boob job."

"...Now all we need is a product!"

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

'H-m-m-mm...may cause insomnia, joint pain, nausea, dizziness, lethargy,gas, irritability, muscle ache, bloating and may nullify the initial good feeling'

'I quit the medication. It gave me lots of zippity, but took away my doo dah.'

'I'm just calculating the probability of my getting tenure in this university.'