Medicine Ponderers Pillows

"I guess laughter isn't the best medicine after all."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Waiting for Pants

Ten Commandments

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'At least I don't have his life.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Great, now we're lost."

Off to a bad start.

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"The arc of the moral universe."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"An equation for your thoughts?"

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

Jealousy

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'