Medicine Ponderers Gifts

"I guess laughter isn't the best medicine after all."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Waiting for Pants

Ten Commandments

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'At least I don't have his life.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"Great, now we're lost."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

"The arc of the moral universe."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"An equation for your thoughts?"

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'Life is like a cheap steak...it's tough.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'