Science Ponderers Gifts

Sermon: '...and on the eighth day he created creationists.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

Ten Commandments

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Great, now we're lost."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

Off to a bad start.

Diversity Does Not Include Class

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Microbiology Lab. It's worse than we thought. That antibiotic resistant bacteria is reading Nietzsche!

Entomology. Ant Colony. Ants must worry about their work-life balance.

Jealousy

"An equation for your thoughts?"

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

"The arc of the moral universe."

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

"Then on a lark, I made the foolish mistake of writing a program that did what I did."

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"I knew it was unnatural to jump that high out of water."