Science Ponderer Gifts

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Of course I'm glad we escaped, I just wish I could say goodbye to the cocaine button one more time."

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

'Really, Grandpa, I don't need to know about bubbles' surface tension, pressure and elasticity to enjoy blowing them.'

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"An equation for your thoughts?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'But what is the universe for?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Needs to get a life"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

The Origins of Everything

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well