Pharmaceutical Ponderers Gifts

"Next time, don't call me at 3 a.m. to ask if a pill you saw on late night TV is right for you!"

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Waiting for Pants

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'At least I don't have his life.'

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'Let me know if these weight-loss pills actually work.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

"I knew it was unnatural to jump that high out of water."

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'Will this make me feel as happy as the people in the commercial?'

'I'm dubious. Neutrinos may be bigger than we thought, but they're not that big.'

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.