Medical Decision Ponderer Pillows

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Waiting for Pants

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

"Mom, let's play doctor. I'll be the patient and you decide if I should be vaccinated."

'We decided to recall our new drug because it causes lawsuits.'

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

This is a test of their cognitive skills, and that's a test of their patience. Waiting room.

Pure logic: Men are afraid of us but not of fire, so, why should we be afraid of fire?

"My whole life, …. I've never wanted to be anything other than a psychiatric patient."

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

No man is an island ??" it just looks that way.

'H-m-m-mm...may cause insomnia, joint pain, nausea, dizziness, lethargy,gas, irritability, muscle ache, bloating and may nullify the initial good feeling'

How do medicines work? They don't! All they do is give God time to heal the body!

Pharmacy: 'It's a miracle drug because it hasn't been taken off the market yet.'

'Take two of these after I leave the room.'

'Who are you calling Napoleon?I'm just going to pay you!'

"I got a second opinion on the operation—my accountant advises against it."

'He's just deciding whether or not to operate.'

"Yeah, it's not cheap. But Big Pharma's depending on you."

"And next time, make a decision and stick to it!"

Cost/Value

101 Things to do while waiting for internet access

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

"Antacids, antibacterials, antibiotic, antidepressants, antispasmodics...we'd like something positive for a change."

'According to the bottle, these are 24-hour pain reliever pills that will kill pain before you realize you're feeling pain, and. . .'

'Say hello to your latest long-term prescription and please welcome it into your family of drugs.'