Procedural Ponderer Pillows

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"He's his own worst enemy."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Needs to get a life"

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Caption Contest TK

Three Wise Monkeys with MP3 players: Hear no evil, hear no evil, hear no evil