Toilet Paper Adventurer Gifts

Special Offer! Double-Sided Toilet Paper.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

I break for toilet paper

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"No not the puppy please"

Do what you can to flatten the curve

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

Creation of Adam

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

Flush Direct

'I'm gonna go.... Where no cow has gone before!'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

"Travel the dark corridor over shoe mountain. Avoid the couch ogre lest he steal your soul. The third door is the bathroom you seek."

'The newspaper reckons there's a shortage of toilet paper.' - 'What would we do without newspapers?'

Toilet paper calendar

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

Toilet Paper Hill

"My neighbor's house got TPed, and doubled in value."

Toilet paper rush

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

Home For Sale - TP Included