Toilet Paper Connoisseur Gifts

I break for toilet paper

Toilet Paper Crisis.

Midas in plague times

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

We have the brown that are highly absorbent and get the job done, or the white that are a bit softer...

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

"Really! You wrapped up the presents with all the left over toilet paper!"

Toilet paper rush

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"No not the puppy please"

Do what you can to flatten the curve

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

Creation of Adam

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

Flush Direct

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

A couple with dog look at restroom signs of a man, a woman, and a fire hydrant.

"Cartonsit as a general rule, already work alone, usually at home."

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

Toilet paper calendar

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

Bears Going to the Bathroom in Woods.

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

"My neighbor's house got TPed, and doubled in value."

Toilet Paper Hill