Toiletry Enthusiast Gifts

She had an impressive collection of hotel toiletries.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Ironing day.

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Santa's wash day.

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

"And do you, Scott, take Amy, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, through mysterious separations of indefinite duration, as long as you both may live?"

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

I break for toilet paper

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

Do what you can to flatten the curve

Giraffe holding up the washing line.

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

How it started: How it's going

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

The real reason for the pyramids.

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"