Toilet Paper Gifts

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"I suppose the combover works, but now I can't see your eyes."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

The trap

I break for toilet paper

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"No not the puppy please"

Do what you can to flatten the curve

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"I thought I'd be quids-in but I can't shift the bloody stuff."

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Creation of Adam

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

Flush Direct

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

"Cartonsit as a general rule, already work alone, usually at home."

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

Toilet paper calendar

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

A man realises he is out of toilet paper.

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

"...so you then developed an addiction to buying toilet rolls. Wasn't that rather expensive?"

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"Oh, thank God!"

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'