Toad Enthusiast Gifts

Toad a la mode: 'Hey! He keeps the flies off!'

'I admire your floatibility.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

'This is the last time I take you frog hunting!'

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Well, I was looking for a yes-man, but I guess a toady will do just as well.'

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

Ike and Tina Turtle.

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Leap Frog

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'Frogs, frogs, where are my frogs?'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Need I say, timing and accuracy are imperative?!

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"