Toadstool Lover Gifts

"And what's your problem?"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Menu Dating

"Eat my dust!"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

A Crab Tubing in a Tidepool

Brexit Tortoise

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

Munch Master.

'I envisioned something more robust'

"As cats go, my Bertie's always been a little slow on his feet, but then again, that's a tortoise shell for you!"

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

Toad a la mode: 'Hey! He keeps the flies off!'

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

Elizabeth I

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

"It helps to lessen the load of my shelf Dad: I'm so much faster now..."

'Hot indeed.'

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

Tadpoles

Psychiatrist.

Kirks & Tacos

'Your horoscope says you're going to have a nasty accident today.'

Suggestions box pops up some toast.

"It's nice when all the kids get together at Christmas, but..."