Toadstool Lover T-Shirts

"And what's your problem?"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Eat my dust!"

Menu Dating

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

Brexit Tortoise

A Crab Tubing in a Tidepool

Munch Master.

"You're back! You're really back...!"

'I envisioned something more robust'

Toad a la mode: 'Hey! He keeps the flies off!'

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

"As cats go, my Bertie's always been a little slow on his feet, but then again, that's a tortoise shell for you!"

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

Elizabeth I

"It helps to lessen the load of my shelf Dad: I'm so much faster now..."

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

'Hot indeed.'

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

Kirks & Tacos

Tadpoles

Psychiatrist.

Suggestions box pops up some toast.

'Your horoscope says you're going to have a nasty accident today.'