Toad Lover T-Shirts

"That's my lunch."

"It's nice when all the kids get together at Christmas, but..."

Santa Claus's Mail

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

Menu Dating

"He's already getting attached to you."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

Slinky Cow World

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"We haven't danced in ages."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"Loves it, just can't get the little fellow off it"

Tortoises breakdancing

'We get a lot more wildlife now we have a pond.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Too posh for Alderley Edge!

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

Funky Facts: Turtles.

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."