Tire Dealer Gifts

"Unfortunately, sales have been flat."

Drool Marks

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Deflator mouse

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Do you buy cars here?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

General Motors.

'You seem qualified. What concerns me is the car you're driving. It's not sending out the right message.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Man with desk organizers labelled 'Wheeling' and 'Dealing'.

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

New-Car Shopping with Arianna Huffington: 'She says if we give her a car, she'll give us exposure by driving it around.'

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"