Tire Trader Gifts

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

The day the stock market went UP.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

City Boy.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Why markets crash.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Dow Jones drop

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

'Time to buy.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.