Car Dealer Gifts

"Naturally, there's a trade-off for its exceptional fuel economy."

"But we're not just talking about buying a car-we're talking about confronting this country's trade deficit with Japan."

'Car emissions are a major contributing factor to the glaciers melting. Our new designs take that into consideration.'

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

Ed's Car Wash,

'The warranty is for the life of the vehicle but we're not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

"Ownership gives one a real sense of accomplishment. Or skip the whole accomplishment thingy and just lease."

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'Off hand, I'd say it's a problem with your distributor.'

'That's the price of the balloon, but you get the car with it.'

Car Sales

'I meant, how flexible are you on price?'

"We stand behind all our vehicles. Sometimes we even help push."

'It seats two comfortably.'

'Do you have any hybrids that weren't designed by men?

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

'The best time to buy a used car is when it's new.'

"And even though this is an older used model... it's perfect for those out-of-the-way places!"

'So comfortable you could just fall asleep at the wheel' - Some folks just aren't cut out for sales.

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

'I love that new horse smell.'

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

'Our computer shows that you have a faulty alternator, a weak battery cell and you're three days late on your auto loan repayment.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'What a pity. I thought they were made of cake...'

'I can't be sure. All l know is that I wouldn't buy a used car from anyone of them.'

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

"How much is that in years of tuition?"

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."

'You look like an honest man - but perhaps we can still use you.'

'This model comes with F.S.H - P.S. - E.W. - C.C. - A.B.S and B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.'

"Bad news, Chief. All our self-driving cars escaped during the night."

"Got any new monster trucks?"

'This was only driven back and forth in the driveway by an obsessive compulsive.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."