Car Dealer Gifts

"Naturally, there's a trade-off for its exceptional fuel economy."

"But we're not just talking about buying a car-we're talking about confronting this country's trade deficit with Japan."

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

'Car emissions are a major contributing factor to the glaciers melting. Our new designs take that into consideration.'

Ed's Car Wash,

'The warranty is for the life of the vehicle but we're not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

"Ownership gives one a real sense of accomplishment. Or skip the whole accomplishment thingy and just lease."

'That's the price of the balloon, but you get the car with it.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"We stand behind all our vehicles. Sometimes we even help push."

'I meant, how flexible are you on price?'

"And even though this is an older used model... it's perfect for those out-of-the-way places!"

'I love that new horse smell.'

'Do you have any hybrids that weren't designed by men?

'So comfortable you could just fall asleep at the wheel' - Some folks just aren't cut out for sales.

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

'The best time to buy a used car is when it's new.'

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

'I can't be sure. All l know is that I wouldn't buy a used car from anyone of them.'

'Our computer shows that you have a faulty alternator, a weak battery cell and you're three days late on your auto loan repayment.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'What a pity. I thought they were made of cake...'

'This model gets great gas mileage but is recommended only for the very agile driver.'

"How much is that in years of tuition?"

'I've been in this business a long time, and believe me that's not laughing.'

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"I know it can drive itself. I'd buy it if it could pay for itself."

"... Oh, no. That just means we won't charge you for the rust."

"Bad news, Chief. All our self-driving cars escaped during the night."

Driving a Lemon.

'This was only driven back and forth in the driveway by an obsessive compulsive.'

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."