Dealer Gifts

Horse dealer talking to a buyer

City Broker requires Dealer who can keep Wicket

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

'I have a hunch the dealer's gonna bust. I'm taking a card.'

'Stop bringing him cocktails -- he's been asking me how many more magic tricks I know.'

'Actually I'd rather sir had used a conventional cigarette lighter!'

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

'I'm pretty sure 'hit me' is all he can say. I don't think he really wants another card.'

'He says the goat ate his blackjack.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

Larry's used art

Drool Marks

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Mohammad's motors

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'God's speed.'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Take me to your auto body shop.'