Tiny Taxpayer Gifts

'Your allowance is five dollars, honey, but after deductions it comes to a buck and a quarter.'

'Well, I'm sorry that you don't get much pocket money. But no, there are no benefits that you can claim.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

A child stands behind a stand piled high with snowballs and a sign that reads "Hand-crafted snowballs 25¢".

The Hobby Store

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

Child driving a toy car

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

IRS Audits. That's your fourth "honest" mistake in a row!

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

Show and Tell.

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

The Little Banker Bonus Pack

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

"I want an eponymous retail empire when I grow up, Greg. What do you want?"