Tiny Teacher Gifts

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

arrogant child showing off her knowledge of ancient history at a party

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"He's such a fussy eater."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

Child doing the washing up

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

The Book Club

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

Junior Doctor and Junior Insurance Salesman

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

'I understand how I was born; I want to know why.'

'Something comfortable with good arch support and a cushioned heel. He wants to run away from home.'

"Miss Peterson, may I go home? I can't assimilate any more data today."

'You like it? I'm getting a government grant for Phase 2.'

"My dad says I won't need a career mentor until at least 3rd grade."

'...I just get nervous about opening up and talking about it.'

Baby playing a piano in it's pram

'There goes my part as a wise man in the Christmas pageant.'

'He's at that difficult age. Too little to be a hunk and too young to be a couch potatoe.'

Social Security or Bust.

"Oh, I'm just between naps, Grandma."

'Kids today, they grow up so fast, he's already making makeshift body armour...'

"I went electric a long time ago."